Being a mom is hard. Adding another kiddo to the mix was harder. I went into this adventure of mommyhood thinking I knew a lot. I had been babysitting since I was 13 years old, my only sibling is almost 7 years younger than me, I worked in a daycare during college, and I worked in pediatrics for 7 years during my career as a registered nurse.
But oh boy... Was I EVER wrong. Motherhood didn't start out magical for me. Tiny Human #1 was a difficult 20 hour birth and even more difficult first week of life that included an ER visit, an admission for jaundice and a horrible start at breastfeeding.
I'm an anxious person. It has been a thorn in my side my entire life that I can remember. When Tiny Human #1 was an infant and toddler, I tried my best to not let those anxieties get in the way. Luckily, he is a terribly cautious child so my anxieties weren't terrible with him.
Then enter Tiny Human #2...
I had to be induced with him. With little progress after them breaking my water and adding Pitocin, I opted for an epidural. Not 15 minutes after getting said epidural, I went from 5cm to 10cm almost instantly and delivered him in 3 pushes sunny-side up with a FAILED epidural. That kid caused me more pain than I have ever felt in my entire life. And he's been a whirlwind ever since!
Tiny Human #2 has taught me a few lessons as a mommy. His boisterous personality has helped me become a less stressed over the little things kind of mom.
I needed to loosen up
I'm a high strung person. My mind always goes to the worst case scenario first. So when my adventurous tot climbs the ladder of the playscape all the way to the top, I've trained myself to stand behind him, ready to catch him if he falls, but not help him or show any anxiety over the fact that he's 5 feet in the air. Or when he climbs in and out of chairs. Or hes flinging a toy around and is about to whack himself in the face.
Routines work, but strict ones sometimes stifle
Tiny Human #1 loved routine as an infant and toddler. He's my child, what can I say? He enjoys predictability and routine. But Tiny Human #2 is his father's son. He is a free spirit. The boy only likes the parts of the routine that involve food. He could live without the rest. When I stopped trying to impose a strict routine on him out of habit, he became a much less whiny and more pleasant kid.
They're only this little once
So sometimes that means that mommy has to step back and let them play in the mud after a rain in the backyard even though they just got out of the bathtub an hour before that. It means I counteract my "diet" and make Rice Krispy Treats with Tiny Human #1 because he loves cooking/baking with me and he would live on marshmallows if you let him. It means I let Tiny Human #2 bang on a pot with a wooden spoon for what seems like an eternity because, c'mon, baby giggles are the best sound in the world.
I may still have anxieties and wonder deep down if something horrible is happening/going to happen. But I'm learning to live in the moment with these Tiny Humans and let them be little boys.
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