To My Future Daughter-In-Laws
We have two amazing boys. It's still up in the air as of now if we will have any more children and we may never have a daughter of our own. But I do know that one day my boys won't be little boys anymore. And mommy will have to let them go. I think I'm going to need more time to come to terms with that!
But in all seriousness, my sons will one day be grown men with their own lives and their own families. When we had Tiny Human #1, it seemed like that day was forever away.
Now I feel like I blinked and he's 4. Four years have come and gone and now I realize how quickly the day will come when my boys become men.
Dear future daughter-in-laws,
I'm not sure where you are now or if either of you are even born yet. But I do know that even now, when your future husbands are in their preschool and toddler years, I pray for you. I pray for your well-being, for your growth, for your families.
I pray that I am raising these boys into strong, confident Christian men for you. Days don't go by that I don't think about how my parenting is shaping them into the men God needs them to be for you and for this world.
One day, it will be you telling them goodnight. Comforting their wounds. Encouraging them when they are down. Giving them the support they need to thrive. We will pass that torch to you. And I pray that you rely on God to take on that role as their wife.
As the daughter-in-law of my husband's great parents, I have some thoughts for you as their future wives.
- Give your husbands grace.They won't be perfect. We are trying our best to raise them the way we believe is good, but they won't always do what is right. I pray we have prepared them to be humble when they do make mistakes. Love them, help guide them, and give them grace when they need it. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel, even if it's upsetting. The truth hurts sometimes, but you can grow through the pain.
- I will have your back when you are right.I've learned that from my own MIL and my mom and grandmothers. Just because I am their mother doesn't mean I'm going to side with them. If they are wrong, they are wrong. Once you marry my son, you become my daughter as well. Which leads me into #3...
- I will always try to not get in your business as a married couple.If there's one thing I've always appreciated about the women in my life, meddling is not what they do. I have heard too many wives struggles with a meddling mother in law to know I never want to do that. Now, it may happen unintentionally, but I will always try to only interfere when asked or if there is clear danger. I want you to be able to do you as a wife to my son and possible mother to my future grandchildren. You won't always get it right. I know I don't. But you live, learn, and do what you think is best for your family.
- You can come to me.At this point in my life, I may not have a daughter nor may I ever, but I do want you to feel like you can come to me as a daughter. I never want to replace your own mother, that's not my goal. But I do want you to know that I will be there for you as much as you want me to.
- Love them fiercely.Both of my boys are serious souls, especially the older one. They may have their rough and tumble moments, but they are gentle and full of emotion. Love them as the men of God I pray they become for you and they will love you fiercely in return. Be their love and helpmate.
But most of all, dear future daughter-in-laws, I pray that you become the women God intends you to be so that you may be a Godly example to my sons and my future grandchildren. Know that even now before I even know you or who you are, I love you with a deep love and I always want what is best for you.